I am a huge spoiler baby. For me, trailers are spoilers. Conversations about trailers are spoilers. Posters are spoilers. The cast list is spoilers. I hate watching anything spoiled. Also, I love the intellectual challenge of avoiding spoilers. In this video, I'll divulge my fifteen best spoiler-avoiding secrets to you. And though it should go without saying, I'll say it anyway: this video contains no spoilers for anything.
Some of my techniques are classics. Some are spiritual. Some are physical. Some are technological. Though they all have one thing in common: they're all pretty stupid. So this video gets pretty weird.
I realize that uploading a video onto the internet in which I boast about delaying my viewing of whatever the sequel to Avengers: Infinity War is called just so I can savor the challenge of avoiding spoilers for a week is going to result in a couple of jerks cramming my various inboxes with the tersest spoilers they can think of.
Of course, I explain a way around that, too. (In summary, it's this: I'm taking the day off. This post was written a day in advance. You're talking to a ghost right now. Just presume I'm at the DMV reading a book. Like, a real book, on real paper. My phone is in a shoebox in my hall closet.)
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